All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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