Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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