Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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