I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
