remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
