I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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