I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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