Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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