would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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