so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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