I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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