last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
