Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
