Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
