i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
