weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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