if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
