They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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