dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
