Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
