I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
