If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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