Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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