fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
