Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
