the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize