The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
