I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
