apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
