Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
