So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
