some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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