i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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