I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
