I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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