well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
