I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
