Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
