I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
