all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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