Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize