yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
