He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
