I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
