my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
