It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want to make out with him forever
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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