I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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