so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
