I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
