why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want nice things and good sex
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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