A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
