have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
