I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
