How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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