I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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