I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
