I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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