Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So much rum. So many feels.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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