lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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